Fear to Freedom in 3 Steps: What To Do In the Middle of Your Child's Emotional Storm

Have you or your child ever been caught in the funnel of fear?

This is where --

• your perspective is limited
• your stress level is rising
• and it feels like the calm is being sucked right out of you

The One Consequence That Matters Most to Your Child

When we become frustrated, anxious or stressed, we can quickly lose control of our words and actions. Insults fly, blame bursts forth, and anger takes the wheel - driving the disconnection that weakens our relational bonds.

When we are flooded with emotion, we need less judgment from others about our behavior and more comfort and compassion in understanding what is happening to us. 

Sometimes, parents unconsciously withdraw affection or attention in an attempt to remain firm and enforce boundaries. 

However, children need us to be their guiding light, not their "consequence."

Parenting With Presence, A Conversation w/ Susan Stiffelman

What does parenting with presence mean to you?

For me, it means being mindfully aware and alert to my internal state and my outer experience. 

It means not checking out or shutting down when I become frustrated by my daughter's discontent, but to take steps to contain my emotional upset.

How Do I Stop Reacting? (Handling Your Anger in Front of Your Kids)

After asking, "How do I stop the negative behavior?" most parents ask, "How do I stop reacting?"

Once you understand and expect that children will cry, whine, resist, and push and you realize it isn't your job to fix anything - the next logical question is "Well, then how do I stop getting so angry?"

It is the peeling of an onion. 

I don't know that we can stop getting angry as much as we can shift to a state of responsibly managing our anger and initiating repair when our fury affects our children.

The Surprising Benefits of Tantrums (Building Emotional Intelligence)

Parents want to know: How do I stop the tantrums and end the meltdowns? 

If you've ever heard yourself saying things like:

Stop crying!
There is no reason to get upset.
It's not that big of a deal!
Oh, you're fine!
 
- then you've probably been overwhelmed by the intensity of your child's emotions.

As hard as they can be to tolerate, those meltdowns are a critical part of our survival, and they are building blocks to better behavior.

The Key to Better Behavior (How to Build Connection!)

Kids get upset for all kinds of reasons, and rather than rationally and calmly discussing what's wrong or making new decisions, they often act out.

Sure, it's normal. Children are immature and unable to shift gears with the flexibility and emotional grace of adults, but that doesn't make it any easier to handle.

It can be exhausting and frustrating, leading us to angry outbursts and resistance from our kids. If you feel like you're in a downward spiral of negativity, connection is the key to better behavior. 

How to Build Self-Esteem in Kids

Each morning, I wake up with the intention to start my day with some kind of mindfulness practice. Whether it is meditation or some gentle stretches, I have learned the importance of not denying myself this time to quiet my mind and body.

Without fail, if I ignore my self-care, my conscious responses are diminished, and my reactionary behavior gets kicked into high-gear.

But what makes or breaks a day? What motivates us to begin the day with self-care?

What It Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids

What was your childhood like?
Do you remember feeling loved and happy?
Or was it a time filled with fear and loneliness?

Maybe it was a combination of both. What I struggled with most growing up was not knowing how to deal with feelings of unworthiness and being ostracized. I did not trust anyone enough to share those feelings.

The most devastating experience for me as a child was being rejected - whether by peers or parents.

How do we ensure that our children have the skills to master their emotions and take charge of their lives?

Bring More Love, Fun & Calm Into Your Family

Do you feel like you are always begging, pleading, or insisting that your kids do things?

Has your day-to-day routine lost all sense of play and the lightheartedness that should accompany family life?

When my daughter is resisting everything I say or when it feels difficult to relate to her, I know it is imperative for me to take a look at how often I choose to demonstrate a loving, fun, and calm presence in her life.

How do I act most often when I'm feeling frustrated or facing an obstacle? 

I'm her model. 

If I lose it during those times, how can I expect her to be cooperative and feel connected when she's stressed?

Struggling with Self-Care? What You Need to Do First

Guest Post by Christopher White, MD Founder of Essential Parenting and co-author of Mindful Discipline.  - See more at: http://mamablog.teach-through-love.com/2014/06/parent-according-to-your-state.html#sthash.sBqUoxF5.dpuf

Guest Post by Jessica Felix, Parent Coach. Follow her Facebook page Early Endeavors.

Guest Post by Christopher White, MD Founder of Essential Parenting and co-author of Mindful Discipline.  - See more at: http://mamablog.teach-through-love.com/2014/06/parent-according-to-your-state.html#sthash.sBqUo

All images via Dreamstime.com

Maybe you’ve heard the term “self-care” over and over again as you’ve sought parenting, wellness or life balance advice.

You try to fit it in – feeling more guilt for missing it than for feeding your kids fast food or sugary cereal!

Self-care seems to be this elusive ideal.

Like if you really had it together as a parent, you’d be able to weave self-care smoothly into your daily routine and, everything would be easier and more satisfying.

The problem is that when we focus on self-care first we are putting on blinders to the real need that we have as parents.
It isn’t enough for us to strive for self-care and wellness.

I know – you don’t need one more thing to do!

But hear me out. This one tip will make that elusive balance issue practically obsolete. We need to focus on our own acceptance of -

Breaking Bad Habits (Getting Back to Basics Part II)

I want to talk about habits in Part II of our Getting Back to Basics series (see Part I here).

In my Conscious Communication Series, we do a lot of language transformation, shifting what we would typically say into something nonjudgmental, compassionate, and proactive.

We start by identifying our habits of reacting. I'm sure you could easily list your child's bad habits, but how about yours?