What Kids Really Need to Thrive (How to Create More Cooperation & Connection)

Do you ever feel like you give, and give, and give only to feel taken advantage of by your kids?

If you unconsciously give your kids too much of what you think they need (things + correction + direction) and not enough of what they actually need to thrive, you may notice a lack of cooperation or connection, leading you to feel resentful or unappreciated.

But, what do kids really need? I'm sharing my dirty little mom secret -

Discipline Burnout (Getting Back to Basics)

Do you ever feel burned out? 
 
Is the stress palpable, and you sense you don't have another ounce of energy to do what needs to be done, so you -

avoid

procrastinate

forget

You know that time of year when everyone is aching for a summer break...

Let Your Kids Say No! (Teaching Assertive Language Skills)

Do you let your children say No? 

I don't mean do you let them "get away" with things?  I mean, do you allow them to disagree with you without getting angry, judging, shaming, or blaming them? 

No Rules for Conscious Parents

Conscious parenting has no tricks to follow - only a path led by your heart and intuition. 

Development takes time. Maturity is achieved after a long childhood and after years of trial and error.
 
Not after you say, "No."
Not after you give the "limit."
Not after you use a "consequence."
 
But with time + tools. So give yourself a break.

Download a copy for yourself. http://bit.ly/1jLX42d Hang it up and remember, it's about being conscious - not perfect.

Your children weren't made to follow orders. They'll get it eventually - even if it takes some tears and repetition. 

Don't give up. Your child is worth it. SO ARE YOU.

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Why Empathy Doesn't Work - 5 Strategies to Help Kids Express Themselves

When you make the switch to being more conscious and aware of your words and actions - using empathy becomes your "first aid" for negativity. 

Empathy allows us to move through our emotions so we can regain control of our thoughts and behaviors, but for children, self-regulation is a skill which takes time to develop.

You may want (or expect) immediate change. When you are new to parenting with empathy instead of control (and even if you aren't), you may find yourself thinking, "I'm using empathy but my child still won't listen."

4 Ways You Can Help Your Child Cope With Tragedy

Well, it happened again.  

Another school shooting. Another deadly day in an otherwise quiet town.

Ironically, I had this #TEACHableMoments episode shot and scheduled for next week. I didn't realize how timely it would become.

The insta-response from the media seems to be to fill up their interview slots with as many political gun debates as they can squeeze in. 

Inviting "experts" to nullify each other's facts, as the pundits declare dead heroes and scrutinize the suspects.

5 Tips For Dealing With Your Child's Stress

"But Lori, she looked me right in the eye and did it ANYWAY!"

I can't tell you how many times I've heard this from parents trying to understand their child's behavior. 

Have you ever felt like your child deliberately chose to misbehave or disobey you for NO reason? It can be maddening to experience behavior that seems deliberate or comes out of nowhere. 

One minute, you're having a great day and the next, your child is a blubbering mess on the floor or raging uncontrollably... and you're wondering what just happened.

Sometimes, kid-stress does not appear to have any obvious, outward signs.

5 Ways To Effectively Praise Your Child

  Good job! Excellent swinging! What a nice boy you are! You're such a good girl!

What's that old adage? "Flattery will get you everywhere." Or is it anywhere...or nowhere?

 "Flattery is like friendship in show, but not in fruit." - Socrates (TWEET IT!)

How to Connect With Your Child by Connecting With Yourself

 "Take care of you."  - "Kit DeLuca," Pretty Woman

Those four words - take care of you - echoed from my VCR every Saturday morning during my sophomore year at college. Pretty Woman was our weekend recovery ritual, but back then I had no idea how important those words really were.

At the time, self-care meant McDonald's milkshakes and chick-flick weekend marathons on the couch with my roomies.

I don't think I appreciated how crucial self-care was to my overall physical and emotional health until just a few years ago when I had no choice but to look at the big picture.

Not just look to see - was I maintaining?

But - was I thriving?

It is impossible to nurture respect and empathy in your child if you are running on nothing but cortisol and adrenaline.

This, I know.

How can you stay calm and compassionate and create an emotional climate that supports your child's growth when you're not skilled at caring for your own needs? 

You can't access compassion for your kid until you regularly practice it with yourself.

In this TEACHable Moments video, I'm sharing five simple steps to help you access some much-needed empathy for yourself which will allow you to connect with your child from a place of unconditional love and respect. 


"Empathy is the most radical of human emotions" @GloriaSteinem. (TWEET IT!) 

It takes courage and vulnerability to reach out to your children in those moments where their behavior seems out-of-control, uncalled for or downright rude.

When you notice yourself reacting, step back and observe the situation from a new point of view. 
Instead of exploding in anger or letting resentment build, choose to disconnect from your emotional storm by practicing these 5 steps to accessing compassion for yourself:
1. Reflect - what happened?
2. Reveal - how did it make me feel?
3. Allow - where did I feel it in my body?
4. Identify - what am I needing?
5. Create - what can I do in this moment to create a new vision?    How will you manage to find a bit of compassion for yourself when things get heated? Are you able to keep your cool and really LOVE yourself? 
Let me know by leaving a comment down below and adding your thoughts to the discussion! 

Thank you for reading and please remember, it's about being conscious - not perfect!

Talk soon,
Lori 

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