The One Consequence That Matters Most to Your Child

When we become frustrated, anxious or stressed, we can quickly lose control of our words and actions. Insults fly, blame bursts forth, and anger takes the wheel - driving the disconnection that weakens our relational bonds.

When we are flooded with emotion, we need less judgment from others about our behavior and more comfort and compassion in understanding what is happening to us. 

Sometimes, parents unconsciously withdraw affection or attention in an attempt to remain firm and enforce boundaries. 

However, children need us to be their guiding light, not their "consequence."

No More Baby Talk Please

It shouldn't hurt to ask for what we want, but what about when it does?

When kids don't immediately accept limits, it can feel frustrating. However, when we blame our emotional state on our children, they learn it isn't safe to speak up or express how they feel.

Your frustration is valid. Don't deny it - but don't displace it, either.

Own it.

Parent According to Your State

Guest Post by Christopher White, MD Founder of Essential Parenting and co-author of Mindful Discipline. 

One common mistake I see parents make — myself included — is to try and discipline/teach their child the same regardless of their level of reactivity.

It is more effective to adjust your intervention based on your state of mind in the moment.

How to Communicate With Angry or Aggressive Kids

How do you know when your child's emotional needs are languishing?

My daughter can be quick to anger, and her level of reactivity is often my first clue to her current emotional state. Angry kids have unmet needs - and whether those needs are due to a loss of connection, a lack of skill, or a stressed state, they need more from us than just criticism and control.