Kids Don't Listen? Change the Way You Speak

"How do I get my kids to listen" and "Will you give me the concrete tools I need to make it happen?"

Definitely, the top questions that parents want to know.

"What do I do to get her to pick up her clothes, finish her lunch, turn off the iPad, etc.?"

I ask myself these questions all the time.

Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice: Conscious Communication Strategies

 
Many deep emotions have been swirling in my head and heart lately. The pain, loss, judgment, hate, and violence that the world is experiencing is never far from my mind.

Racial Tension
Depression
War
Suicide
Terrorism 

There seems to be a neverending stream of anger, sadness, and combative opinions that incite our collective fury. 

It's painful but also essential to feel - to not allow ourselves to become desensitized to human suffering.

But, how much is too much?

There are strategies can we use to turn our defensive reactions into compassionate responses, so we don't lose our humanity in the chaos.

No More Baby Talk Please

It shouldn't hurt to ask for what we want, but what about when it does?

When kids don't immediately accept limits, it can feel frustrating. However, when we blame our emotional state on our children, they learn it isn't safe to speak up or express how they feel.

Your frustration is valid. Don't deny it - but don't displace it, either.

Own it.

How Do I Get My Kids to Listen?

"I just want my kids to listen!"

Resonate with that? Wanting your kids to listen often comes from the need to feel heard, respected or considered.

I'm sure you've found (or soon will) that obedience and insisting kids "just listen" leads you to focus on getting what you want at the expense of the teachable moment.
 
 Eventually, your "discipline" stops working. 

Growth Happens When You Aren't Looking

Welcome to the January 2014 Carnival of Natural Parenting: The More Things Stay the Same

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have talked about the continuity and constancy in their lives. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

When you decide to raise a child without punitive consequences, you will likely be questioned and admired - and also booed, blamed and thought to be irresponsibly contributing to the downfall of society.

You will need the strength of Hercules and the patience of Mother Teresa because growth is sometimes slow to see, but that doesn't mean just because everything looks the same – that nothing is changing.