I often share tips about how to re-frame the way you talk to your kids but what about the way you talk about your kids and the challenges you are having?
Do you post questions in your favorite forums or conscious parenting pages?
How do you describe the conflicts you experience?
He's so needy.
She won't listen.
She's so sensitive.
He's driving me nuts.
She is such a handful.
He'll defy you out of spite.
She is so disrespectful to me.
He tantrums if he doesn't get his way.
These statements lead us down a dead-end road.
How do you respond to conflict?
Do you wince in irritation when your child starts whining?
Do you turn threatening, scary, or react with impatience when your kids start fighting?
Maybe you take a very left-brained, logical, and practical approach when emotions run high?
You may have noticed any one of these reactions often leads to a communication fail.
It can be frustrating.We think we are responding, but we're really stuck in reactive mode or only able to focus on problem solving, advising, or fixing.
Addressing negative behavior requires you to remain emotional - not logical. You have to connect first and move from being reactionary and defensive to being responsive and receptive.
This is a leadership skill which takes an enormous amount of self-care to develop. You'll need to have patience, awareness, and a ton of self-respect before you can find the compassion you need to lead without force.
Here are some tips and ideas to remind you what you can say to remain emotionally responsive and available to help your children build skills.
What is wrong with you?
What is your problem?
You're being ridiculous!
Calm down!
As a kid, I was no stranger to these kinds of sentiments. Overly sensitive and highly-emotional, outbursts were a knee-jerk reaction with which I was quite familiar.
I often share tips about how to re-frame the way you talk to your kids but what about the way you talk about your kids and the challenges you are having?
