What is wrong with you?
What is your problem?
You're being ridiculous!
Calm down!
As a kid, I was no stranger to these kinds of sentiments. Overly sensitive and highly-emotional, outbursts were a knee-jerk reaction with which I was quite familiar.
Sometimes, what I thought was a reasonable reaction was perceived to be overreacting.
I was asked to...
get control of myself
set a good example
stop being so sensitive
But this type of communication is not productive. There is no quality feedback to help a child shift the situation toward a positive outcome.
On the surface, fear works until the moment your child is able to escape your threats (or is no longer under your thumb - teenagers).
You may be tempted to dismiss your child's irritability and judge it as unwarranted. This is sure to increase your frustration and the negative tension between you.
#MindfulMondays are about learning to engage others with invitations to connect, rather than demands which deny us the opportunity to collaborate peacefully.
We are wired to connect. When kids know they have allies and resources on which they can rely, it strengthens the development of the decision-making center of the brain.
Providing emotional connection and allowing opportunities for children to fully process their feelings aren't just good parenting tips, they are necessary components to healthy brain development.
Thanks for reading, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Talk soon,
Lori
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