Do your kids nag, complain, or whine about rules and limits?Do they attempt to negotiate or beg for more TV, candy, toys, or playtime despite repeated warnings that the issue is not up for discussion?
Do you interpret these behaviors to mean that your kids aren't "listening" to you?
Does that make you feel like you have to set firmer limits, but you don't know how?
I've got a solution for you.
It can be easy to assume defiance, unreasonableness or rebellion when kids erupt in anger or try to plead their case. We perceive them as overreacting to something they "already know" is off-limits.
Then, feeling threatened we become deeply unsettled, falling back into patterns of force - preaching, admonishing, and controlling because we are unable to see through our fears to respond to their real need.
In this TEACHable Moments video, I'm sharing three magic words to help you manage these problematic behaviors.
These three words will invite connection, soothe distress, and build a bridge to understanding without compromising your influence or surrendering to your child's every whim.
Your children don't need you to legitimize the limits. They just need you to listen. (Tweet It!)I know that validating our children's desires can feel like we're inviting negotiation, but you'll be surprised at how much power these words have to comfort a child who can't have what they want.
I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas, so after you try them out let me know what you think of these three magic words. How did your child respond? Leave me a note in the comments.
Until next time, please remember it's about being conscious - not perfect!
Talk soon,
Lori
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