Kids are listening to everything we say - even when we think they're not - and they're making memories out of the meaning they take away from their experiences. What are we teaching them about the world and life, and more importantly, what messages are they receiving?
Too often, our habits of reacting tell another story. Our intentions are not always clear and what our kids take away from situations is often misinterpreted.
After many inner journeys, healing therapies, and quieting my mind through the practice of mindfulness, I have shifted my beliefs about myself and the world.
Life is no longer something to be feared or anxious about, but I didn't start out thinking that way.
The messages I received as a child were rooted in fear and control.
I didn't grow up feeling confident and capable. I was always worrying about the opinions of others and whether I was measuring up to their expectations.
Our beliefs influence the way we respond to everything in life - especially how we deal with fear, threat, and change.
For the "old me," my emotional reactions weren't always pretty, and they often left me feeling awful about myself.
I had to change my beliefs to change the way I felt.
I want to share the insights I've gained so you can give your children the skills they need to improve their behavior and make better decisions - but without the blame, shame, judgment, and guilt.
Most discipline is well-meaning, but it misses the mark.
Punitive consequences don't build skills, no matter how logical. And, fear? Fear pushes us, but when we misuse it, it doesn't move us toward reflection or sustainable change.
Kids can learn to survive, but if we don't teach them to manage conflicts effectively, and deal with their uncomfortable emotions, control tends to become a more accessible tool to use.
In this TEACHable Moments video, I'm sharing a few communication tips that will show you how to raise confident, capable kids.
Disciplining through fear is like demanding a child ride a bike when you've taken off the wheels. (Tweet It!)We're not always going to be perfect, but we can get conscious.
Let's get clear on what kinds of beliefs we want our kids to have so we can start sending the right messages.
I'd love to know which belief-set was instilled in you (consciously or unconsciously). How has it affected your perspective on life and relationships?
Leave me a comment and share your thoughts below (when you share your story, you might just help someone else feel less alone).
Thank you so much for watching and sharing, and please remember, it's about being conscious - not perfect!
Talk soon,
Lori
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