"Live in the moment."
"Be grateful."
Ugh - those same old clichés. Always said at just the WRONG time.
What does that even mean? Live in the moment. What other moment is there to live in? And grateful? Yeah, that's easy for some people to say.
I'll admit that sometimes I not only let those kinds thoughts creep into my mind, but I let them take up residence.
I remember a time long ago when I realized just how very unhappy I was. It was affecting all areas of my life - including my presence with my child.
I was not living in the moment - but constantly thinking about the past and worrying about the future.
My closest relationships and financial stability were strained. A combination of family stress and lack of community due to a recent long-distance move left me spiraling.
I didn't stop rushing forward until I hit the bottom. Feeling burnt-out, alone, and passionless, I sank into my sadness and stayed there for over a year.
All this time, my business was growing and thriving. I was being recognized and asked to contribute to projects which aligned with my most creative and passionate self - but I cried daily.
How could I be out there helping others when my own life was falling apart at the seams?
I felt like a fraud. I realized no amount of gratitude or living in the moment was going to change how I felt inside.
I had to make a choice. The choice to do something different.
To start my day with gratitude meant nothing if I didn't feel grateful. I couldn't go from feeling low, scared, and hopeless to "everything's all lollipops and rainbows" in an instant.
It was hard. Not to feel it - but to stay there in the feeling space until it passed. Finding things to be grateful for seemed impossible, so I started small and was thankful for...
my shoes being comfortable.
the whipped cream on my coffee (that I didn't ask for).
the gaggle of geese I noticed while sitting in traffic.
the trees outside my office window.
my favorite song that just played on the radio.
I made very small attempts to find things that touched me emotionally and inspired a sense of peace.
Not because I wanted to force happiness or because I was focused on desperately pushing for change (because I certainly wanted it), but because my desire to access peace had overcome the comfort of sitting in my pain.
Gratitude is the most simple form of abundance and love - and it brings an enormous sense of peace to my life. You deserve more than just...
"getting by"
"maintaining"
"being pretty happy"
Yes, life is full of adversity, but we can find our way back to peace - to inner harmony - if we learn to navigate the tough times by feeling our feelings.
If you aren't feeling - you aren't really living. You're just existing.
To live from a place of gratitude takes more than a desire for change. It takes action. Change never happens while we're comfortable. It tends to throttle us until the point at which our pain becomes unbearable. I'm here to help you manifest change.
Whew! Feels good to feel it and heal it! Thank you for allowing me to share this note-to-self-moment with you! Now, go and take good care of yourself.
Talk soon,
Lori
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