Have you ever gone through one of those phases where your child finds fault with everything you do - no matter what?
Or, does it ever seem like every time you say "Up" - your child says "Down?"
In this TEACHable Moments video, I'm sharing five tips for effective communication to help you stay calm and responsive.
In the heat of the moment, stay focused on your long-term goals for your child and ask: Will this action move my children toward the skills and qualities I want them to have?
What do you think? Leave a note in the comments and let me know how you stay calm in the face of your child's growing pains.
Thank you so much for reading an watching! Until next time, please remember, it's about being conscious - not perfect!
Or, does it ever seem like every time you say "Up" - your child says "Down?"
Unmet needs, feeling incapable and helpless, or damaged relationships can unconsciously sway our moods without our permission or awareness and leave us feeling vulnerable and anxious long after the situation has passed.
As our kids grow, there will be times when they are experimenting with boundaries, testing our love, and trying to adapt to a fickle set of expectations from the world around them.
They may not always do it with grace or kindness.
As adults, we have so much more experience and social awareness - that logical solutions and positive outcomes seem obvious.
However, children need practice processing emotions that are new or scary, and time to assimilate new experiences and feel comfortable before they can make shifts in their behavior.
As our kids grow, there will be times when they are experimenting with boundaries, testing our love, and trying to adapt to a fickle set of expectations from the world around them.
They may not always do it with grace or kindness.
As adults, we have so much more experience and social awareness - that logical solutions and positive outcomes seem obvious.
However, children need practice processing emotions that are new or scary, and time to assimilate new experiences and feel comfortable before they can make shifts in their behavior.
Often, we expect far too much of them - way too early.
One crucial step to communicating effectively is to stay away from reasoning with children in an attempt to change their behavior.
You don't need to argue your point.
It is important to allow their feelings to be expressed. Children need to feel their feelings so they know they can handle them.
Wait until the feelings pass and children are feeling receptive and ready to connect and reflect with you.
Depending on your relationship dynamic, it may take time before your child feels ready to open up and let you in. They may react more intensely to see if you really mean what you say.
As you remain a source of nonjudgmental support, this will become easier for you both.
You don't need to argue your point.
It is important to allow their feelings to be expressed. Children need to feel their feelings so they know they can handle them.
Wait until the feelings pass and children are feeling receptive and ready to connect and reflect with you.
Depending on your relationship dynamic, it may take time before your child feels ready to open up and let you in. They may react more intensely to see if you really mean what you say.
As you remain a source of nonjudgmental support, this will become easier for you both.
In this TEACHable Moments video, I'm sharing five tips for effective communication to help you stay calm and responsive.
In the heat of the moment, stay focused on your long-term goals for your child and ask: Will this action move my children toward the skills and qualities I want them to have?
What do you think? Leave a note in the comments and let me know how you stay calm in the face of your child's growing pains.
Thank you so much for reading an watching! Until next time, please remember, it's about being conscious - not perfect!
Talk soon,
Lori
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