The Surprising Benefits of Tantrums (Building Emotional Intelligence)

Parents want to know: How do I stop the tantrums and end the meltdowns? 

If you've ever heard yourself saying things like:

Stop crying!
There is no reason to get upset.
It's not that big of a deal!
Oh, you're fine!
 
- then you've probably been overwhelmed by the intensity of your child's emotions.

As hard as they can be to tolerate, those meltdowns are a critical part of our survival, and they are building blocks to better behavior.

Why We Struggle to Set Boundaries

I love learning how our childhoods have shaped the way we view the world. Understanding my past has brought into clear view why I behave the way I do in certain situations and what I need to work on to be a compassionate leader for my child. 

If you struggle to set boundaries with your kids or have trouble disciplining without getting angry or using force, you can start to turn things around by simply understanding your personal history and digging in to uncover any unresolved childhood wounds.

The Key to Better Behavior (How to Build Connection!)

Kids get upset for all kinds of reasons, and rather than rationally and calmly discussing what's wrong or making new decisions, they often act out.

Sure, it's normal. Children are immature and unable to shift gears with the flexibility and emotional grace of adults, but that doesn't make it any easier to handle.

It can be exhausting and frustrating, leading us to angry outbursts and resistance from our kids. If you feel like you're in a downward spiral of negativity, connection is the key to better behavior. 

How to Build Self-Esteem in Kids

Each morning, I wake up with the intention to start my day with some kind of mindfulness practice. Whether it is meditation or some gentle stretches, I have learned the importance of not denying myself this time to quiet my mind and body.

Without fail, if I ignore my self-care, my conscious responses are diminished, and my reactionary behavior gets kicked into high-gear.

But what makes or breaks a day? What motivates us to begin the day with self-care?

What It Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids

What was your childhood like?
Do you remember feeling loved and happy?
Or was it a time filled with fear and loneliness?

Maybe it was a combination of both. What I struggled with most growing up was not knowing how to deal with feelings of unworthiness and being ostracized. I did not trust anyone enough to share those feelings.

The most devastating experience for me as a child was being rejected - whether by peers or parents.

How do we ensure that our children have the skills to master their emotions and take charge of their lives?

Bring More Love, Fun & Calm Into Your Family

Do you feel like you are always begging, pleading, or insisting that your kids do things?

Has your day-to-day routine lost all sense of play and the lightheartedness that should accompany family life?

When my daughter is resisting everything I say or when it feels difficult to relate to her, I know it is imperative for me to take a look at how often I choose to demonstrate a loving, fun, and calm presence in her life.

How do I act most often when I'm feeling frustrated or facing an obstacle? 

I'm her model. 

If I lose it during those times, how can I expect her to be cooperative and feel connected when she's stressed?

How to Avoid the Most Common Parenting Mistakes (& What to Do Instead)

My child - like most children - resists any attempt I may make to control her. She will shut down at the first sign of a threatening tone or demanding voice.

Have you used your tone of voice to try and change your child's behavior or to try and control what's happening?  

It can even happen without our awareness.

What Messages Are You Sending? How to Raise Confident, Capable Kids!

Kids are listening to everything we say - even when we think they're not - and they're making memories out of the meaning they take away from their experiences. 

What are we teaching them about the world and life, and more importantly, what messages are they receiving?

Too often, our habits of reacting tell another story. Our intentions are not always clear and what our kids take away from situations is often misinterpreted. 

Manage Difficult Behaviors With Three Magic Words

Do your kids nag, complain, or whine about rules and limits?

Do they attempt to negotiate or beg for more TV, candy, toys, or playtime despite repeated warnings that the issue is not up for discussion?

Do you interpret these behaviors to mean that your kids aren't "listening" to you? 

Does that make you feel like you have to set firmer limits, but you don't know how?  

I've got a solution for you.

Why Kids Tattle and What To Do About It

She took my headband!
He touched my Legos!
She's using my iPod!
He won't stop bothering us!
She won't stop hitting us!
They spit on us! Eww!

Those are just a few of the "tattletales" I've heard from my daughter over the years. 

Common responses may sound like - 

Give it back!
Put down those Legos!
Leave it alone!
Stop harassing your sister!
That's not nice! 

But, what do kids learn when we respond with directives, demands, and judgment? 

What to Do When You Don't Agree With Your Partner's Parenting

If you're married, parenting with a partner, or co-parenting with an ex, how often do you agree or feel like you're on the same page?

Are you skilled at communicating without others feeling attacked or criticized?

Even if you agree on basic parenting principles, it doesn't mean you'll see eye-to-eye on everything, and how you express your feelings about your differences will send your children essential messages about how to respond to conflict.

#1 Way to Keep from Losing Your Cool with Your Kids

When your kids are having a hard time, and you're feeling impatient and annoyed, how do you keep from losing your cool?

Whether it's your children stressing you out or the people around you provoking your anger, do you ever find yourself self-righteously unleashing a hoard of buried emotions on others?

What is it about what other people think, say, or do that makes us so mad? Why can't we keep our emotions in check when someone says something hurtful or critical?

I'm no stranger to criticism. 

Single Best Strategy for Gaining Your Child's Respect (How to Repair)

There I was, feeling bewildered, and standing outside the door my eight-year-old had just slammed shut after demanding her privacy.

What just happened? 

We were enjoying lunch, I mentioned her dance class starting - and BAM! She turned on a dime. She crossed her arms, glared at me with a squinty gaze, and refused to engage.

Where did I go wrong? Why was she being so disrespectful?

Your children's behaviors may confuse and confound you, too. When there seems to be no rhyme or reason for their actions - when you're faced with defiance - there is one thing you can do to reconnect and teach respect.

Six Ways to Master Communicating With Kids

Sometimes, we provide a lot of commentary around our children’s actions.

We interject where we don’t need to, providing solutions when we should just be there as a spotter is for a gymnast - guiding children as they learn a skill or helping them to manage themselves safely. 

How can you allow your children as much freedom as possible while still maintaining a reasonable set of boundaries and supportive limits?

Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice: Conscious Communication Strategies

 
Many deep emotions have been swirling in my head and heart lately. The pain, loss, judgment, hate, and violence that the world is experiencing is never far from my mind.

Racial Tension
Depression
War
Suicide
Terrorism 

There seems to be a neverending stream of anger, sadness, and combative opinions that incite our collective fury. 

It's painful but also essential to feel - to not allow ourselves to become desensitized to human suffering.

But, how much is too much?

There are strategies can we use to turn our defensive reactions into compassionate responses, so we don't lose our humanity in the chaos.