Talking to Kids About Divorce

Divorce and separation - even when friendly and without conflict - are some of the most stressful events a family can experience.


In this video, I'm sharing with you my 4C's for talking to kids about divorce and separation (or really, any trauma).

Development Takes Time, Repetition & Relief

Developing maturity takes time, repetition and relief.

Time is necessary to allow a child's unique developmental path to unfold.  

Repetition happens when we practice moving through strong impulses and overwhelming emotions.

Relief happens when we feel that we have the support and/or the tools to move through a situation. 

4 Tips for Helping Your Child Fall Asleep

When I ask my clients to list their top 3 challenges, bedtime usually ranks on the list. We talk about sleep troubles in my classes, but I rarely speak about sleep in blog posts.

Reactions vs. Responses

How do you respond to conflict?

Do you wince in irritation when your child starts whining?
Do you turn threatening, scary, or react with impatience when your kids start fighting?

Maybe you take a very left-brained, logical, and practical approach when emotions run high?

You may have noticed any one of these reactions often leads to a communication fail.

It can be frustrating.We think we are responding, but we're really stuck in reactive mode or only able to focus on problem solving, advising, or fixing.

Addressing negative behavior requires you to remain emotional - not logical. You have to connect first and move from being reactionary and defensive to being responsive and receptive.

This is a leadership skill which takes an enormous amount of self-care to develop. You'll need to have patience, awareness, and a ton of self-respect before you can find the compassion you need to lead without force. 

Here are some tips and ideas to remind you what you can say to remain emotionally responsive and available to help your children build skills.

TEACH through Love 2014 Scholarship Winners

I have people write in almost every week and ask me if there scholarship opportunities for my programs. 

I know it took a ton of courage for everyone who submitted to put themselves out there and share so openly and honestly.

I was honored and humbled (and you made me laugh) by the submissions I received for my FIRST EVER scholarship contest to attend my upcoming parenting series - Conscious Communication - registration opens on Feb 24.

Six Ways to Help Kids Who Worry

I used to worry all the time. I was a master at generalized anxiety. 

My daughter also tends to worry. She's often unsatisfied with my answer to her concerns or she thinks deeply about matters which seem to burden her young mind unnecessarily.

When I was a child, I didn't have the skills to deal with my anxiety. I didn't know what to do with the many thoughts and feelings that plagued my overactive mind. (Throughout my adolescent years, I was convinced that I had a terminal disease and spent many hours contemplating my imminent demise.) 

I needed a support system: 
PEOPLE
PERSPECTIVE
- and a PLAN.


Now, I find clarity and peace through simple mindful activities such as meditation or yoga. 

If I need a new perspective, I go for a walk or take a drive with the windows down and my favorite music blaring, or I call a close friend for support.

And sometimes, I veg out in front of the TV until I feel motivated to change watching reruns of my favorite childhood sitcoms with my daughter. 

They're not only fun to watch but also a source of constant parenting inspiration. 

The other day we watched the Brady Bunch episode, "Eenie, Meenie, Mommy, Daddy." It's the one where Cindy is the star of the play but can only invite ONE guest to see her perform.

She worried about it for days, and got conflicting advice from everyone until she finally quit the play! It got me thinking about how kids hold in their worries and don't always know what to do. 

In this TEACHable Moments video, I'm sharing six ways you can wipe out worries by creating healthy habits that help kids thrive.


What we say and how we say it can make the difference between a worry that grows into a debilitating fear and a worry that becomes a teachable moment, learning about endurance and how to take control of our thoughts. 

After you watch, I'd love to hear from you. What has been your child's biggest worry and ONE ACTION STEP you can take to help?  Leave me a comment and share your story!

Thanks so much for watching and for sharing!

Talk soon,
Lori

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Helping Kids Who Overreact

What is wrong with you?
What is your problem?
You're being ridiculous!
Calm down!


As a kid, I was no stranger to these kinds of sentiments. Overly sensitive and highly-emotional, outbursts were a knee-jerk reaction with which I was quite familiar.

Why Your Words Matter

"Stupid, stupid… you’re such a dummy!" my father muttered to himself, over and over, as he paced the house. 

As a child, hearing my dad call himself names was unsettling. Now, as an adult with a child of my own, listening to him berate himself over a lost set of keys was eye-opening.

What to Do When You Are No Longer Using Punishment

Have you ever felt at a loss for what to do to make sure your kids learn lessons?

Have you traded in punishment for something more emotionally responsive, but aren't sure your kids are really learning what's important?

Are you wondering exactly what you are supposed to do about misbehavior?