What to Do When You Get Triggered

Do you have any of these habits...
Getting testy with slow or cranky cashiers? Complaining or criticizing things or people? Blaming others for making you feel a certain way? Getting aggravated with the person who cut you off in traffic?  

The ability to cope with and respond to our environment with grace and ease is not about knowing the "right" answer, or the "perfect" thing to say.    Taking control of our emotional reactions isn't about having "better-behaved" kids or a "more understanding" partner.

What Kids Really Need to Thrive (How to Create More Cooperation & Connection)

Do you ever feel like you give, and give, and give only to feel taken advantage of by your kids?

If you unconsciously give your kids too much of what you think they need (things + correction + direction) and not enough of what they actually need to thrive, you may notice a lack of cooperation or connection, leading you to feel resentful or unappreciated.

But, what do kids really need? I'm sharing my dirty little mom secret -

What to Do When Your Toddler "Won't Take No for an Answer!"

Toddlers Perspectives:

"No" is the best word ever.
I want what I want, and I want it now.
Screaming "No" feels good. 
You can't tell me what to do.
I'll say "No" for as long as I want.

I want to share a story to remind you it is possible to set limits with toddlers compassionately.

It's not an easy task.

You're worn out, tired, and have other children to attend to, but you can guide your little ones back to positive behaviors (instead of demanding) if you step outside your agenda just long enough to find the compassion to consider their experience.

How to Respond When Your Kids Are Whining

I doooooooon't waaaaaant toooooo.
I waaaant another cookieeeeeee.
Whyyyyyy can't I? Pleeeeeaase?

Whining. 

It's one of those parental triggers which can seem impossibly difficult to deal with because of how quickly it activates our stress response. 

Whining can get your adrenaline pumping, and suddenly your innate ability to cope dwindles with every shrieky demand and objection to your limits and attempts to empathize.
 
Add a bit of logic, debate, legitimizing, or trying to rationalize away the hysterics, and you'll drive yourself directly to the Summer Whine Fest. So what do you do?

Parent According to Your State

Guest Post by Christopher White, MD Founder of Essential Parenting and co-author of Mindful Discipline. 

One common mistake I see parents make — myself included — is to try and discipline/teach their child the same regardless of their level of reactivity.

It is more effective to adjust your intervention based on your state of mind in the moment.