Do you feel like you are always begging, pleading, or insisting that your kids do things?
Has your day-to-day routine lost all sense of play and the lightheartedness that should accompany family life?
When my daughter is resisting everything I say or when it feels difficult to relate to her, I know it is imperative for me to take a look at how often I choose to demonstrate a loving, fun, and calm presence in her life.
How do I act most often when I'm feeling frustrated or facing an obstacle?
I'm her model.
If I lose it during those times, how can I expect her to be cooperative and feel connected when she's stressed?
My child - like most children - resists any attempt I may make to control her. She will shut down at the first sign of a threatening tone or demanding voice.
Have you used your tone of voice to try and change your child's behavior or to try and control what's happening?
It can even happen without our awareness.
Kids are listening to everything we say - even when we think they're not - and they're making memories out of the meaning they take away from their experiences.
What are we teaching them about the world and life, and more importantly, what messages are they receiving?
Too often, our habits of reacting tell another story. Our intentions are not always clear and what our kids take away from situations is often misinterpreted.
