I want to talk about habits in Part II of our Getting Back to Basics series (see Part I here).In my Conscious Communication Series, we do a lot of language transformation, shifting what we would typically say into something nonjudgmental, compassionate, and proactive.
We start by identifying our habits of reacting. I'm sure you could easily list your child's bad habits, but how about yours?
Are you in the habit of over-explaining your limits? Do you try to rationalize, legitimize or persuade your children into changing their behavior?
These are the very actions which could be causing more misbehavior and missed communications. When we waffle, negotiate, or try to convince our children out of their upset, frustration, or disagreement - we send the message the limit is unclear or perhaps, open to change.
Sometimes, limits can be flexible, but if your decision is firm, your delivery could be sabotaging your efforts to gain your child's cooperation.
The most difficult challenge for most parents is to remain calm when children test limits.
Kids don't test your patience and push for change to make you mad. They are learning about what is acceptable, and how much they can trust you to be safe and unconditionally accepting of their explorations and mistakes.
Sometimes, the best strategy is just to STOP talking.
If you are in the habit of arguing your limits or negotiating for better behavior, then don't miss this TEACHable Moments video.
In Part II of our Getting Back to Basics Series, we are going to take a look at three common habits which may be undermining your discipline, and some language reframes for what to stay instead.
Give your kids choices that help them work with you instead of for you. (Tweet it!)After you watch, I'd love to hear your story. What are your worst habits that you'd like to erase from your interactions with your kids?
Leave me a note in the comments because your experience might just be the story someone else needs to hear!
Thank you so much for watch and sharing and remember - conscious - not perfect!
Talk soon,
Lori
Lori
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