Words Can Get In The Way - How NOT to Talk to Kids

Do your kids having trouble "listening?"

Do you feel like no matter what you say or do - you still end up begging, pleading, negotiating or punishing to get cooperation and usually it's not willing cooperation?

Despite my valiant attempts to consciously speak with kindness, acknowledge needs, and validate feelings, sometimes - I STILL am left with a child who is emotionally resistant and tough to tolerate.

In this moment, there is a fork in the road.

I am faced with two choices - go control freak - or go zen mama.

The most effective action is to stop thinking and be silent. (Did you know that when you rearrange the letters in silent - they spell l-i-s-t-e-n.)

Yep. Sometimes the best communication is non-verbal. 

And the question of what to say becomes -  

"How do I feel my way through this moment? How can I tolerate these sensations arising in me?"

It becomes about waiting for the storm of emotions to pass and being OK with your child not being OK.

On the other hand, there are times when you need to say more.

Have you ever felt unsure of how to speak your mind without the subtle shades of blame, shame, judgment and guilt undermining your influence?

This is where you're thinking, "I get it - but what do I say in those moments?"

It is not a perfect script-making process.

There are no hard and fast rules for each scenario. Every situation with your child will be unique and require you to be patient, mindful, and curious.

Check out Facebook each Monday for a new #ConsciousCommunication card and this free series - Top 4 Reasons Parents Can't Stop Nagging, Arguing, & Punishing
(and how to set limits your kids will respect)!

Talk soon.

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