Have you ever felt the kind of stress where your mind shuts down and you lose all words?
Or have you ever felt so agitated that you became irrationally hostile or argumentative?
Have you ever been so discouraged that you just wanted everyone to leave you alone?
If you're breathing, then the answer is likely yes. So why do we give kids such a hard time when it happens to them?
It took me a long time to learn to work my way through my emotions. Not around or away from - but through.
Emotions can be scary for children.
When they can't make sense of what's happening to them, or when they feel helpless to survive a wave of sadness or disappointment, it manifests in their behaviors.
They can easily become surly and disagreeable. If we're not present to their emotional state, we may react with the same kind of unpleasantness we're hoping to stop.
There are no magic answers or 1-2-3 solutions to managing every conflict. Each moment of frustration is an opportunity to create #TEACHableMoments with our kids.
When your child's reactions seem out of proportion to the situation, can you stop long enough to breathe and reassess whether you're looking through a mature, experienced, adult lens or the narrow perspective of a child who is still learning to navigate frustration?
Behavior is a communication that must be heard. We're all familiar with how it feels to be unheard - especially by someone close to us.
So, imagine what it feels like for a child who is inflexible by design and has far fewer years of experience regulating strong emotions?
The furor, the rage... it's a thunderstorm of physical and emotional sensations that causes children to lose all ability to speak, hear, reason, see alternatives, or be cooperative until the rush has passed and until their biological feedback system has restored balance.
The only way out of powerful emotions - is through.
In this episode of #TEACHableMoments I'm sharing 5 ideas for keeping the connection strong when your kids can't cope.
The brain needs strong relationships to develop. It's hard to be there emotionally for our kids if we're not happy with ourselves.
How is your relationship with yourself? Is it in need of some self-care repair?
If you're in the habit of judging yourself or stuffing down your emotions, you may not feel resourceful enough to allow your children the freedom to have a bad moment or make mistakes.
It's just too much pressure.
Repairing the relationship you have with yourself through self-care, affirmations, mindfulness, exercise, and nutrition is going to give you the endurance you need to be emotionally available for your children.
After you watch today's episode, leave me a note in the comments and share two things you can do to re-connect with yourself. I'd love to hear your ideas, and I know there are many others looking for the solutions you just might have.
Thank you so much for watching! Have a great week.
Warmly,
Lori
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