What Kids Really Need to Thrive (How to Create More Cooperation & Connection)

Do you ever feel like you give, and give, and give only to feel taken advantage of by your kids?

If you unconsciously give your kids too much of what you think they need (things + correction + direction) and not enough of what they actually need to thrive, you may notice a lack of cooperation or connection, leading you to feel resentful or unappreciated.

But, what do kids really need? I'm sharing my dirty little mom secret -
I suck at being attentive to some of my child's real needs and must remind myself to put forth a conscious effort to be present. 

I don't mean her needs for comfort and care, but her need to have my undivided attention (even for a short time) or her need for me to join her in the world of play and imagination... not so easy

It's hard for me to sit and play. I tend to hyper-focus on the things I feel passionate about (work), or the things which distract me from my anxiety (cleaning the house). 

And, if I'm not conscious of where my mind is leading me, I could blindly allow my daughter fall into her own addictive or avoidant habits (TV). I'm a little jealous of parents who find sincere enjoyment watching their kids frolic in the backyard.

If she's playing, I'm likely doing something else.

But, she needs me to - 

  • be interested in her world
  • connect and enjoy our time 

It's important that she knows I value spending time with her, and not because I think she needs me to mend boo-boos, hold space for big emotions, or model the skills she'll need in the future, but because her development depends on my ability to be here now.

To be home.
To be quiet.
To be in the moment.

We all have our parenting weak spots. This is mine. After a bit of self-discovery, I have learned the three things which help me stay in the moment - without thinking about when it will be over.

In this TEACHable Moments video, I'm sharing my thoughts about what kids really need to thrive, and how you can create more cooperation and connection in your home.

http://ctt.ec/Vs687Give your kids what they really need - not what you think they need. (Tweet it!)

After you watch, I'd love to hear which of the three tips resonated with you most, and how can you incorporate more of it into the time you spend with your child?

Leave me a note in the comments
and share your thoughts!


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About Lori

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