What Kids Really Need to Thrive

Do you ever feel like you give and give and give?

You may even feel taken advantage of if you are unconsciously giving your kids too much of what you think they need (things + correction + direction) and not enough of what they actually need to thrive. 

The CDC estimates 9.5% of children aged 3-17 have been diagnosed at some point with ADHD.

They say kids can't pay attention.

I know for me, it's hard to always give my child the kind of attention she needs. My thinking can be unfocused and distracted.

Living with Aspergers Syndrome AND being an introvert makes giving my child what she really needs and deserves one of my greatest challenges.

I have a tendency to hyper-focus on the things I feel passionate about (work), or the things which distract me from my anxiety (cleaning the house), and if I'm not conscious of where my mind is leading me, I could blindly allow my daughter fall into her own addictive/avoidant habits (TV).

It's hard for me to sit and play or just watch my child idle away.

I am actually jealous of you -- the moms who find sincere enjoyment watching your kids frolic in the backyard.

I'm sharing my dirty little mom secret -- I actually suck at being attentive to the real needs of my child, and must remind myself to put forth a conscious effort to be present. 

-- Not her needs for comfort and care during stormy emotions or conflict, I'm pretty capable and confident in this department, but her needs for my undivided attention or her need for me to join her in the world of play and imagination... not so much.

If she's playing, I'm likely doing something else.

But, she needs me to be interested in her world, to want to connect and enjoy her because I like spending time interacting with her, and not because I am needed to mend boo-boos, hold angry emotions, or model the skills she'll need in the future.

She needs me to just BE.

Be home. Be quiet. Be in the moment.

We all have our weak spots. This is mine. It's not earth-shattering because I know the three things which help me.

In this TEACHable Moments video, I'm sharing my thoughts about what kids really need to thrive, and how you can create more cooperation and connection in your home.

http://ctt.ec/Vs687Give your kids what they really need - not what you think they need. via @TEACHthruLove (Tweet it!)

Shutting kids down with rules and logic when their behavior is crying out for something deeper leads to a lack of trust. 

So after you watch, I'd love to hear which of the three tips resonated with you most and how can you incorporate more of it into the time you spend with your child?

Leave me a note in the comments
and share your thoughts!


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About Lori

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