The Key to Better Behavior (How to Build Connection!)

If I could give you just ONE thing, it would be on-going support to help you understand your child's behavior and re-frame it through a non-judgmental lens.

When you understand behavior, yours and the behavior of those around you, you can bring the JOY back into your life.

You would not believe how much your relationship and what you say about your kids influences their behavior.

When we evaluate their behaviors - and tell them 

how polite or perfect they are
how they have disappointed us 
or that they aren't being kind 

- they come to associate what we say with their feelings of self-worth.

Judged kids make poor decision-makers. 

Confused by our criticism and impatience with their natural impulses, they grow more fearful of our reactions and less able to change their behavior without help.

When the love of someone you depend on hangs in the balance, you don't seek to make things better, you simply try to survive. That's what keeps us stuck in survival-based thinking... fight or flight.

"How dare you!"
"I didn't do it! I swear!"

Kids who are supported with compassionate limits can learn to reflect on their actions without the fear of rejection. In today's video, I'm sharing the key to better behavior and some ideas for building connection with your kids! Behavior is not something to be stopped - it is something to be understood. via @TEACHthruLove (TWEET IT!)

Once you realize behavior is a message about how we feel and what we need it will be easier for you to take a compassionate view and access your internal resources.

When kids step outside the boundaries, they lack skills, are overwhelmed with stress or are emotionally disengaged. 

When you start listening to the message of behavior - not looking at what you see - but stepping into the experience your child is asking to share with you – then you will finally start to see the changes you are looking for.

Children's natural willingness to listen and cooperate increases with their sense of security and unconditional acceptance of who they are regardless of what they do. 

Lots of parents think, "My child knows I love them, even when I'm angry or disappointed."

I'm willing to bet the opposite is true. In fact, our love is exactly what most kids question when we allow our anger or judgment to interfere with our connection. 

The ideas I share can be adapted to your child’s unique stage of development. You might alter your language or adjust the level of discussion, but the path to building connection starts with an intention – not a one-size-fits-all list type of discipline.

You can change the way you think about and respond to behavior. But it takes a commitment and the support to try new things. 

You don't have to do it alone! Join us for discussion on the Facebook page, sign-up for a Season of Support or grab a friend and go for a cup of coffee

Listening to our kids is a lot easier when we have someone who listens to us. 

Thanks so much for reading, watching + sharing! Have a great week :)


LIKE what you see? SHARE it with someone you LOVE!
If you don't see the comments, try switching from mobile to desktop view.

About Lori

Pre-Order Your Cards Today!

Pre-Order Your Cards Today!
Conscious Communication Cards - Kickstarter Rewards Extended thru 10/16