How do you feel about chores?
Doing the laundry?
Cleaning the house?
I am NOT the domestic type and not ashamed to admit that I hate the repetition of routine chores.
Despite my contempt for household tasks, sometimes, things MUST get done? So, what do you do?
If I could rub a magic lamp, I'd wish for a maid and a personal chef so I'd never have to waste another minute on such monotonous tasks again.
Of course, while I am waiting for my genie to show up, I need to somehow motivate myself to get things done on my own.
I slide by with lukewarm leftovers and air-fluffed clothes for so long, until finally, I muster the energy and the inspiration to meet my responsibilities and cook a proper meal or de-funk the sheets.
I can assure you that it isn't the obligation or the duty to my family that helps motivate me.
I don't respond well to guilt.
Even as a child, punishment and judgment never instilled in me the desire to finish my chores, or make contributions of my own accord.
Nor did those things assist in developing my intrinsic motivation - that desire to be responsible without the external pressure to conform.
Mostly, those punitive actions made me angry and resentful.
Thus, a cycle of punishments - and then harsher punishments - ensued.
What I know now...
I have to find my own inner reserve of self-discipline and choose to practice the coping skills I've collected. Then, I can organize my brain to accomplish these particular tasks with the least amount of frustration.
In this week's TEACHable Moment, I share 5 ways you can build cooperation when your kids refuse to do their chores.
It is so important to get really clear on what your needs are, so you can take care of them before you make requests of your child.
Forcing your child to change her behaviors with blame, shame, judgment or guilt will leave you in a battle of wills and rooted in an ego-led conflict, each of you asserting your desire to be seen, heard and understood.
You can learn what naturally motivates your child by working with her instead of against her.
After you watch,let me know what you think. I'd love to know what kinds of challenges you are going through.
Click here for a handy infographic on pinpointing whether the challenges are:
Think about it and then leave me a comment below and share your story.
Have a great week!
LIKE what you SEE? SHARE it with someone you LOVE!
Can't see the comments, try switching from mobile to desktop view.