How Do I Stop Reacting? (Handling Your Anger in Front of Your Kids)

Most parents - after asking me how to stop behavior - ask me, how to stop reacting.

It seems that once folks understand that it is to be expected that children will - cry, whine, resist and push - and they realize it isn't their job to fix anything - they ask, "Well, then how do I stop getting so angry?"

It is the peeling of an onion. 

 I don't know that we can “stop getting angry” as much as we can shift to a state of responsibly managing our anger and initiating repair when our anger affects our children.

Parenting Under Stress: Advice & Support

All children test boundaries, right?

However, holding those boundaries without getting angry and being able to compassionately set limits takes an incredible amount of self-awareness and emotional maturity. 

Do you feel like you need to brush up on your parenting skills?

Children need us to be attentive and available to help them regain their emotional balance. 

In the early years, this re-setting of the mind/body can occur just about every FIVE minutes.

Intense? Draining?

Just a weeeee bit.

Why Kids Talk Back and What To Do About It

Do your kids talk back? Do you have a tween or teen who has become increasingly sassy or smart-mouthed?

Back Talk. 

How do we teach lessons without shame or blame and still allow our kids to fully embrace the intensity of their emotions? 

It is a delicate balance of setting firm boundaries to establish a sense of safety and respect and accepting and allowing for the natural push-back against those boundaries.

Managing Conflict in Five Steps with Conscious Communication

I want to share with you a step-by-step path to peace.

Your language, attitude and tone ALL affect your child's ability to meet your expectations. Learning to change the way you speak can take time and practice.

Sometimes, you won't know WHAT to say. It's okay to be silent. Being respectful is more important than saying the "right" thing.

Practicing mindfulness will allow your body to relax and your mind to open up to the words and creative solutions that already exist within you.

Download and save (print + hang up) my TEACH Tool. This info-graphic outlines my five steps for peaceful conflict resolution and gives you conscious communication language examples for implementing each step.

Teaching Kids Healthy Money Habits

Creating healthy habits around money is something I have as a top priority goal for myself and my child.

However, with my history, I was not aware of just how deeply hidden my beliefs around money were.

I recently joined Kate Northrup's #MoneyLoveChallenge because I wanted to step-up my self-awareness around my financial future. 

What To Do About "Misbehavior" at School

“Misbehavior” in the classroom is a hot topic.

I remember when my daughter started first grade, and I wondered how we would cope with the newly punitive environment

How would she handle it? Would it be stressful for her?

It seems silly to worry, right? After all, we all made it through school unscathed.

The Surprising Benefits of Tantrums (Building Emotional Intelligence)

Parents ask me ALL the time - how do I stop my child's tantrums and end the meltdowns?

If you've ever heard yourself saying things like:

Stop crying!
There is no reason to get upset.
It's not that big of a deal!

- then you've probably been overwhelmed by the intensity of your child's emotions.

As hard as they can be to tolerate, those meltdowns are a critical part of our survival, and a building block to better behavior and a healthy emotional intelligence.

Why We Struggle to Set Boundaries & A New Beginning

Tis' the season ...for celebrating, holiday cheer and family gatherings! For some, though, it is a dark time where stress, sadness, isolation, and the missing of loved ones kill any cheer the season supposedly brings.

We may or may not share the same customs, traditions or feelings about this time of year, but one thing we all have in common is an upcoming bid farewell to 2014, and a new beginning.

Today, in honor of this new beginning, I am officially launching the Season of Support - but I'll tell you more about that in a minute.

First, a new year always gets me thinking about the past, the future, what I want to do next, and what I want to leave behind.

I am passionate about helping you understand how your childhood has shaped the way you view the world, and and I'm always thinking of new ways to help you access your internal resources.

If you struggle to set boundaries with your kids without getting angry or using force, I want to help you understand why and empower you to take your life in a NEW direction.  

The Key to Better Behavior (How to Build Connection!)

If I could give you just ONE thing, it would be on-going support to help you understand your child's behavior and re-frame it through a non-judgmental lens.

When you understand behavior - yours and everyone else's - you can bring the JOY back into your life.

How to Build Self-Esteem in Kids

Every morning I wake up with the intention to start my day with some kind of mindfulness practice. Whether it is a meditation, or some gentle stretches, I have learned the importance of not denying myself this time to quiet my mind and body.

Without fail, if I ignore my self-care, my conscious responses are diminished and my reactionary behavior gets kicked into high-gear.

But what makes or breaks a day? What motivates us to begin the day with self-care?

What It Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids

What was your childhood like? 
Do you remember feeling loved and happy?
Or was it a time filled with fear and loneliness?

Maybe it was a combination of both. What I struggled with most growing up was not knowing how to deal with feelings of unworthiness and being ostracized. I did not trust anyone enough to share those feelings.

The most devastating experience for me as a child was being rejected - whether by peers or parents.

How do we ensure that our children have the skills to master their emotions and take charge of their lives?

Bring More Love, Fun & Calm Into Your Family

Have you noticed that it is during our most taxing and tumultuous times that our kids show us just how tolerant we really are?

When my daughter's resistance is recurring, I know it is imperative for me to take a look at how often I choose to demonstrate love, fun and a calm presence.

Do you feel like you are always begging, pleading or insisting? Has your day-to-day lost all sense of play and lightheartedness that should accompany life?

Are You Making One of These Common Parenting Mistakes?

If you were to ask my daughter, "What is one habit your mom should work on stopping?" she'd probably tell you, "She shouldn't be mean or yell so much."

Sometimes my tone is less than inviting (mean), and my child is so sensitive that she resists and shuts-down at the first sign of threatening (yelling) control.

What Messages Are You Sending? How to Raise Confident, Capable Kids!

Kids are listening, making meaning out of memories. What messages about the world and life are they receiving?

Today, after many inner journeys, healing therapies and quieting my mind through the practice of mindfulness, I have shifted my belief about the world, and it is no longer something to be feared, but it didn't start that way.

My old beliefs influenced the way I responded to everything in my life - fear, threat and change. It wasn't always pretty.

Manage Difficult Behaviors With Three Magic Words

Do your kids nag, complain, or whine about rules and limits that they KNOW are unchanging?

Do they attempt to negotiate or outright beg for more TV, candy, toys or playtime despite repeated warnings that the issue is "not up for discussion?"

Do you interpret these behaviors to mean that your kids aren't "listening" to you, and feel you have to set firmer limits but don't know how?  

I've got a solution for you.

Why Kids Tattle and What To Do About It

She took my headband.
He touched my painting.
She touched my iPod.
He won't stop bothering us.
She won't stop hitting us.
Those boys spit on us.

Those are just a few of the "tattle-tales" I've recently heard from my daughter. 

Tattling is developmentally typical in young children. They are still piecing together how the world works. Like any behavior, it represents a need, and kids learn how to meet their needs through our reactions and interactions.

When You Don't Agree With Your Partner's Parenting

If you're married, parenting with a partner or co-parenting with an ex, how often do you agree or feel like you're on the same page?

Are you skilled at communicating without others feeling attacked or criticized?

Even if you AGREE on basic parenting principles, it doesn't mean that you'll see eye-to-eye on everything, and how you express your feelings about your differences will send your children important messages about how to respond to conflict.

#1 Way to Keep From Losing Your Cool

Many parents write in asking me just ONE question, "How do I keep from losing my cool?"

If you were to ask me to choose the challenge that plagues me most, I would have to agree. 

Single Best Strategy for Gaining Your Child's Respect

There I was standing outside the door she slammed shut.
The eight-year-old was demanding privacy.

What just happened? We were enjoying lunch, I mentioned her dance class starting - and BAM, she turned on a dime.

About Lori

About Lori

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