If you're married, parenting with a partner, or co-parenting with an ex, how often do you agree or feel like you're on the same page?
Are you skilled at communicating without others feeling attacked or criticized?
Even if you agree on basic parenting principles, it doesn't mean you'll see eye-to-eye on everything, and how you express your feelings about your differences will send your children essential messages about how to respond to conflict.
For example, my daughter's dad and I have very similar ideas about respectful parenting and limit-setting, but how that looks in each of our minds and our individual ability to stay within those boundaries can be entirely different.
Everyone brings to the table different perspectives, triggers, and skills.
When we point fingers, criticize or shut-down because we feel ignored or unappreciated, destructive cycles of blame, shame, judgment, and guilt can create frustration and resentment for us, and insecurity in our children who are confused by the mixed messages.
How you speak about what's bothering you will be the deciding factor on whether your partner is welcoming and receptive or unwilling to hear your concerns.
In this TEACHable Moments video, I'm sharing 4 ways you can find common ground when you don't agree with your partner's parenting.
Compassion is about finding common ground. (TWEET IT!) Communicating with compassion is a choice.
You strengthen the flexible part of your child’s brain when you use mindfulness to stay calm and regulated. Mindful tools help you use respectful communication and increase your resourcefulness and capacity to access your compassion.
It may not always seem possible, but it gets more comfortable with practice.
Now, I'd love to hear from you. Even if you are a single parent, I'm sure there are plenty of opinionated people in your world with whom you can practice these ideas.
These strategies work for ALL of our relationships.
After you watch, leave me a comment below and tell me which tip you found most beneficial.
Until next week... remember, conscious not perfect!
Talk soon,
Lori
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