Do you let your kids argue with you or with each other?When I was growing up, my love of debate and my direct, logical manner was often misinterpreted as anger or rebellion. My intention to engage others in a thoughtful dialogue was misread as being stubborn and argumentative.
I wasn't consciously trying to be uncooperative, but I didn't always have the most socially appropriate skill set. What I needed was a close relationship on which I could rely to provide a model for effective communication.
I thrive on the mental stimulation which logical analysis provides. My parents, however, mistook my excitement, passion, and a fierce sense of fairness for a blatant disregard of the rules.
This caused me to feel as though I had little say in things.
I didn't feel safe coming to my parents to ask for their opinion or approval because our bond had been bruised by misunderstanding and disapproval.Turns out, a rigid approach usually backfires.
The real truth behind arguing as noted the book, Nurture Shock: New Thinking About Children, dispels some common misconceptions about why kids argue and it shows us how it actually promotes growth.
In this episode of TEACHable Moments, I'm uncovering the truth about arguing and sharing five secrets to arguing without anger.
We're always more receptive others when we feel we have been heard & considered. (TWEET IT!)What about you?
What kind of arguing did your family do? Was it loud, rude and combative or was it calm, reflective, open, and honest or maybe it was non-existent? How has it affected the way you see things today?
Looking into our past is always the first step to changing our future. Have a great week!
Talk soon,
Lori
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