When your kids are having a hard time, and you're feeling impatient and annoyed, how do you keep from losing your cool?
What is it about what other people think, say, or do that makes us so mad? Why can't we keep our emotions in check when someone says something hurtful or critical?
I'm no stranger to criticism.
I've received my fair share of unpleasant comments here on the web. I've had to consciously step back and process my emotions so that I didn't let the opinions of others get me down or negatively affect my work or self-esteem.
We can be quick to feel threatened, judge, and react - especially if we've experienced difficulties or pain in past relationships.
We're social creatures, and it makes sense that any kind of judgment, exclusion, or bullying would lead to stress and emotional trauma.
"Being excluded or ostracized is an invisible form of bullying that doesn't leave bruises, and therefore we often underestimate its impact," says Kipling D. Williams, a professor of psychological sciences.
He says that social pain causes physical pain and social disapproval threatens our basic need for connection and belonging.
But how do we let it go?
In this TEACHable Moments video, I'm sharing some of the "meanest messages" I've ever received, and the #1 way to keep from losing your cool.
Forgiveness is not a gift you give to someone else, but a gift you give to yourself. (TWEET IT!) We want our kids to grow up trusting their inner voices - but not their inner critics. Modeling calm and thoughtful responses is a great way to instill a compassionate, confident, and articulate inner voice in your child.
Now, I'd love to hear from you! After you watch the video, leave me a note in the comments and share your story - when is it hardest for you to keep your cool?
Thank you so much for watching and reading.
Talk soon,
Lori
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