Children learn more from what we do, and how we make them feel than what we say. Having a high tolerance for age-typical behaviors is necessary for teaching self-regulation and creating respectful relationships.
Unmanaged emotion sends children the message that we are not in control, and that they are the cause of our annoyance and not worthy of our respect. Those internalized feelings of guilt and shame become deeply embedded in their self-concept and profoundly affect their behavior.
We can choose to be influential, modeling emotional resilience and showing children how to respond to anger, criticism, and failure with courage and determination.
Young children, especially, are vulnerable to our harsh reactions. Their immaturity can trigger us into forcing control, wanting compliance, or using consequences.
Feeling supported makes the difference between whether children learn to cope with challenge and disappointment skillfully or whether they adapt in unhealthy ways, acting out or stuffing their feelings only to explode later.
What do you think? Have you tried addressing what's going on underneath the behavior? Do you notice a difference in their behavior when they do?
I'd love to hear about your experience. Share your thoughts in the comments.
Thank you for reading and watching. Until next time, please remember, it's about being conscious - not perfect!
Talk soon,
Lori
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