Mommy Wars

We all have different experiences and ideas about parenting. 

Lately, I have been visiting the various comment sections on parenting blogs and news articles and I am astonished to find all too often that anyone with a difference in opinion is flogged until they either tire of leaning on deaf ears or retreat in fear of the monster-mommies. See Exhibit AExhibit B.

I am not sure of the reason for such hostility toward attachment parenting and especially anyone who might want to parent under that theory. Of course I've only been a mom for 1109 days now, so while I’m well versed in the theory, I'm kinda new to the actual reality of parenting.

Here’s what my left brain is thinking –

Attachment parenting, also referred to as unconditional or conscious parenting is not a set of rules for parents - it is a set of beliefs about children. There is no club and I don't think that there are any AP ribbons or pins because I have not received one.

After wading through the parenting articles and opinions and being simultaneously amused and alarmed, my hope now is that parents will begin to share their experiences and refrain from name-calling others (and their children) who may differ in style or opinion.

Since when is it okay to generalize attachment parented kids as “bratty?” That is just childish.

I think that there is a lot of new brain science behind attachment theory and so, there have been many new advocates (and opponents) looking to spread information. Much of it feels instinctual to parents because it's how the brain grows best and that should be instinctual but there are no parameters that make one an "attachment parent" or not.

So, why do some parents go into attack mode, losing all rationality, disputing experience and science just because someone has an alternate view of parenting?

When we react defensively, our ego speaks and no one hears us anyway. We should be proud of our parenting choices and rally around others when they find something new that works (or doesn't). It doesn't mean we change our beliefs (but maybe we do) but that we allow others to have their own experience and perhaps allow ourselves to learn something new in the process.

Ultimately we choose what works for us and what upholds our family values best. But that doesn't mean we should rail against any alternative information. Just filter and file and smile… or discard if need be.

Humanity is evolving, it's only natural that parenting cultural practices are too. Warmly,

What do you think? Post your comments below!

About Lori

Order Your Cards Today!

Order Your Cards Today!
Conscious Communication Cards - Kickstarter Rewards Extended thru 10/16