No Rules for Conscious Parents

Conscious parenting has no tricks to follow - only a path led by your heart and intuition. 

Development takes time. Maturity is achieved after a long childhood and after years of trial and error.
 
Not after you say, "No."
Not after you give the "limit."
Not after you use a "consequence."
 
But with time + tools. So give yourself a break.

Download a copy for yourself. http://bit.ly/1jLX42d Hang it up and remember, it's about being conscious - not perfect.

Your children weren't made to follow orders. They'll get it eventually - even if it takes some tears and repetition. 

Don't give up. Your child is worth it. SO ARE YOU.

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What's Wrong With Punitive Consequences?

In the past, I've shared my opinion about Supernanny. Writing posts like that one both terrifies me and thrills me. 

I don't like pissing people off, but I do love a good paradigm shift because my real passion is changing perspectives - not telling people how to parent.

How Do I Get My Kids to Listen?

"I just want my kids to listen!"

Resonate with that? Wanting your kids to listen often comes from the need to feel heard, respected or considered.

I'm sure you've found (or soon will) that obedience and insisting kids "just listen" leads you to focus on getting what you want at the expense of the teachable moment.
 
 Eventually, your "discipline" stops working. 

Why Supernanny is DEAD WRONG!

 

(Read Part 2 of this post here)   

I've really had it with Supernanny.

That's how *this parent* feels. You know when you've really had it with your kids. That's how I feel about this woman who has made a brand out of bad advice that just got disturbingly worse. 

Supernanny was on Good Morning America recently in a segment called, "Taming Toddler Tantrums." With the wealth of information and speakers available to speak on child-rearing and current best practices, I expected more from GMA.

Click here to TWEET GMA and tell them we need to TEACH through Love!

Want to Change Your Child's Behavior? Share Your Needs.

Sometimes, out of fear and frustration, we end up sending unintentional messages to our kids.

We end up telling them what we think of them instead of sharing how we feel about what's happened and what we would like to happen next. Sharing your needs and preferences builds trust and increases cooperation.

Getting to the Bottom of Behavior

She did it on purpose.

I don't know what she needs.
He's not dysregulated. He was perfectly calm.
She chose to disobey because she didn't like my limit.
He knows the consequences and he defied the rules anyway.
She looked at me, said she understood, and then did it again.
 

Why won't this behavior go away? Does that resonate with you? 

If so, you are not alone. Many parents get tripped up with behavior challenges by trying to change, well... behavior.  

Sound crazy?

Behavior is a Message

When you have a conflict with your child, how do you address behavior? Do you focus on what your child is doing or what he is needing?

Behaviors are messages.

No More Behavior Problems

I often share tips about how to re-frame the way you talk to your kids but what about the way you talk about your kids and the challenges you are having?

Do you post questions in your favorite forums or conscious parenting pages?

How do you describe the conflicts you experience?

He's so needy.
She won't listen.
She's so sensitive.
He's driving me nuts.
She is such a handful.
He'll defy you out of spite.
She is so disrespectful to me.
He tantrums if he doesn't get his way.

These statements lead us down a dead-end road.