How to Respond When Your Kids Are Whining



I doooooooon't waaaaaant toooooo.
I waaaant another cookieeeeeee.

Whyyyyyy can't I? Pleeeeeaase?

Whining. 


It is one of those parental triggers which can seem impossibly difficult to deal with because of how quickly it activates our stress response. 

Whining can get your adrenaline pumping and suddenly your innate ability to cope dwindles with every shrieky objection to your limits or attempt to empathize.
 

Add a bit of logical debate, legitimizing or trying to rationalize away the hysterics, and you'll drive yourself directly to Whine Fest 2015. So what do you do?

Like all behaviors, whining sends a message.
It is --

  • A call for help.
  • A need to discharge stored emotions or stress.  
  • A need to just be sad with ourselves until the moment passes.


When you react to whining with anger or a disconnected sense of "firmness," where you demand "words" and the "big girl voice" or even mimic the behavior back to your child in pursuit of some expected behavioral goal, you elevate the tension.

That's counter-productive to your goals for growth. 

If you require the unpleasant emotional expression to stop before offering care, attention or help - one of two things will happen, depending on your kid:

  1. the child will whine MORE as increased stress heightens the intensity of the emotional energy.

  2. the child will SHUT down emotionally and hold the stress and feelings for diffusing later in another situation, perhaps more aggressively.

I know you want to STOP the whining. In this TEACHable Moments episode, I am sharing my top three tips for making sure whining doesn't stop you from being emotionally available and present with your child.
http://ctt.ec/Vs687 Have the whine but let it breathe. @TEACHthruLove  (Tweet it!) 

When we react only from our perspective, our actions tend to be void of any warm willingness to help. 

We may say kindly and sweetly to "please stop" but this is asking our children to attain a level of composure we are unable to reach ourselves.

So after you watch, I'd love to know which tip you are going to try first OR maybe you have a gentle suggestion which can help others respond when their kids are whining - leave me a note in the comments and share your thoughts with our community.

Thank you so much for watching and sharing!


Warmly,

Lori



 
More resources:
EFT - The Official Website
EFT Universe

 



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